Grace.

I've been thinking about this post for several days now. I've KNOWN this was the next one. I've FELT that "Grace" would be the next point... Problem is, I can't say I know how to talk about it. I almost didn't write about it. Why? Because of how undeserving I am of it yet its being supplied to a sinner like me... this KILLS me. It's like a birthday present of the thing you've always wanted but you see how selfish and putrid you are... and you almost DON'T want it. But need it. yet don't deserve it. but would take it... Cuz it was GIVEN TO YOU... and though you may feel indebted, you shouldn't. It hasn't been given in spite... It's been given in love. A love that pierces through your condition called SINFUL-- and if you have read the last blog, you understand what that implies.

Truth is, I love God and I have experienced grace... and the further I go through this live, the harder it becomes to accept grace. I'm a disgrace... It literally brings me to tears. Why wouldn't it? God LOVES us enough to, without reason, extend unconditional love and grace. Mercy, which is not giving us what we deserve, doesn't even compare to grace (which is giving us something we DON'T deserve). Grace, if properly understood, brings you to your knees. Forget knees. It brings you to your face! Read Dietrich Bonhoeffer's, "The Cost of Discipleship." Let THAT put things into perspective. Who am I to speak of something I barely understand-- and more than anything --depend on as a security blanket due to my current state... (I SOOOO don't like the state of my heart right now).

Point is this: God is love and that provides grace. God is good and he IS. Period. End of discussion. If you are one of the blessed that see his goodness, fight through your depravity. Grace truly is the ultimate gift. I'm a tad empty right now and driven more by my feelings than mind... I don't deserve grace and it HURTS that I get it. But maybe thats where God has me. Where does God have you?