I often think about Plato's, Allegory Of The Cave. Just got back from working on Dickson Street in Fayetteville and I thought about it all the way home. It's 4 am in the morning and I have an ASVAB test to take tomorrow for the Navy... Still... My hearts restless. So share this thought with me.
In short, Plato's allegory tells the story of these prisoners stuck inside of this cave... shackled and facing a wall in a manner where they've only seen reflections of shadows due to a fire behind them. To them, these shadows have become reality... These shadows have become truth...
Socrates, who was Plato's teacher, begs the following idea: What if one of these prisoners was unshackled and allowed to see beyond the shadows. Allowed to walk beyond the cave...
This prisoner would have to fight what he has known as "reality". This prisoner would question everything he was experiencing due to what he has always known. This prisoner would have to adapt to the brightness of the light outside of the cave. Once he did, he would then have to learn the harsh reality that... all objects cast shadows and their shadows are only visible echoes of what they actually are.
Imagine the trauma. Imagine the adaptation required. What would that prisoner think of the sun? After knowing only the shadows of a small fire? To empathize with him is overwhelming. Imagine if this prisoner tried to return to the cave and convince his fellow friends of what he's seen. Imagine what they would say. How he would feel in their rejection. Imagine the loneliness that would follow. Imagine the ignorance on their part... What if you were the ignorant one?
We all stare at walls that display small shadows made from small fires. We all ignore people who know different than how we have grown to perceive things. We often wish people would listen to us after seeing bigger lights cast not by fires... but by the sun itself. In the end, the only thing we can do is learn from what the darkness has tried to take from us personally...And seek larger forms of light that extend beyond small fires. All of this while being prisoners ourselves.
Let that resonate.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Friday, September 6, 2013
Consistency.
Last night I was talking with some friends at work and ended up stating that I wish I was a much more consistent person. It felt like a revelation as the words came out of my mouth. It sounding like both a new and old truth about myself. Hurt yet felt like a beautiful realization. Then I got to thinking.
In sports during high school and college it was every coaches pet peeve.
In relationships it's always been the biggest disconnect.
In jobs reviews it's always made itself onto reviews.
With my family... Same thing.
If my poor beautiful dog, Stella, Could talk it's what she would say.
Heck. Me being UP at 5am in the morning with a long day ahead of me only further proves this.
I've continuously prided myself on not being a quieter throughout life. Even made fun of perceived quitters for being quitters. Doesn't mean I haven't done things with as little effort as possible... or failed in huge ways to counter personal triumphs. I mean, shoot, I've had 4 jobs since graduating college 2 years ago. I've been a student ministries director for a church a retail banker for a bank, a mental health paraprofessional for a guidance organization and a server/bartender for a sports bar, hah. Right now the very DEFINITION of the word consistency kinda bums me out right now, hah.
Consistency - constant; with regularity, evenness, steadiness, stability, dependability, reliability.
I think this is why I largely crave the Navy. Consistency, commitment, dedication, obligation. When you sign up for the military you do so for a set amount of years... I need that but also crave it. Goodness, our beautiful savior BY EXISTENCE exists as an omnipresent and omniscient force of consistency. Never changing. Remaining the same. Continual. Ever loving. Ever forgiving. Ever faithful. Ever good.
Since my divorce I've been blessed with the greatest displays of grace possible. From my forgiving savior but also some of the worlds most consistent people. Friends who never stopped calling, despite some of the stupid things I was doing. There have been other struggles since the separation, some of which really linger now, but they have stuck with me all along. Two of them specifically come to mind. Both will unshakably have my loyalty no matter what. I deeply wish I could bless them in return with the same display of consistency. I love them both.
I feel God challenging me towards this word in several areas. Largely in my relationships and actions but also in how I speak of people and what I speak about. Even in how I prepare for what is to come, be it navy or career. This is all a difficult thing to think about, seeing as its clearly been a genuine life struggle. With the power of a grace, though, all is game. Grace being community. Grace being imparted righteousness.
I leave you guys with this small encouragement I read from Paul, who wrote it to the church in Corinth. Hopefully this difficult and vulnerable reflection inspires you towards the word "consistency" too. I'm gonna start by getting to bed.
Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58.
In my inconsistency, the father redeems me in consistency... He is sooo good.
In sports during high school and college it was every coaches pet peeve.
In relationships it's always been the biggest disconnect.
In jobs reviews it's always made itself onto reviews.
With my family... Same thing.
If my poor beautiful dog, Stella, Could talk it's what she would say.
Heck. Me being UP at 5am in the morning with a long day ahead of me only further proves this.
I've continuously prided myself on not being a quieter throughout life. Even made fun of perceived quitters for being quitters. Doesn't mean I haven't done things with as little effort as possible... or failed in huge ways to counter personal triumphs. I mean, shoot, I've had 4 jobs since graduating college 2 years ago. I've been a student ministries director for a church a retail banker for a bank, a mental health paraprofessional for a guidance organization and a server/bartender for a sports bar, hah. Right now the very DEFINITION of the word consistency kinda bums me out right now, hah.
Consistency - constant; with regularity, evenness, steadiness, stability, dependability, reliability.
I think this is why I largely crave the Navy. Consistency, commitment, dedication, obligation. When you sign up for the military you do so for a set amount of years... I need that but also crave it. Goodness, our beautiful savior BY EXISTENCE exists as an omnipresent and omniscient force of consistency. Never changing. Remaining the same. Continual. Ever loving. Ever forgiving. Ever faithful. Ever good.
Since my divorce I've been blessed with the greatest displays of grace possible. From my forgiving savior but also some of the worlds most consistent people. Friends who never stopped calling, despite some of the stupid things I was doing. There have been other struggles since the separation, some of which really linger now, but they have stuck with me all along. Two of them specifically come to mind. Both will unshakably have my loyalty no matter what. I deeply wish I could bless them in return with the same display of consistency. I love them both.
I feel God challenging me towards this word in several areas. Largely in my relationships and actions but also in how I speak of people and what I speak about. Even in how I prepare for what is to come, be it navy or career. This is all a difficult thing to think about, seeing as its clearly been a genuine life struggle. With the power of a grace, though, all is game. Grace being community. Grace being imparted righteousness.
I leave you guys with this small encouragement I read from Paul, who wrote it to the church in Corinth. Hopefully this difficult and vulnerable reflection inspires you towards the word "consistency" too. I'm gonna start by getting to bed.
Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast and immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. - 1 Corinthians 15:58.
In my inconsistency, the father redeems me in consistency... He is sooo good.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Empathy.
Empathy - The intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts or attitudes of another; the power of understanding and imaginatively entering into another persons feelings.
When I was going through my divorce I began to really dive in to the Psalms of David. Definitely was searching for something to ease the soul, despite the circumstances. To be honest, diving into those Psalms at the time was the reason I even started this blog... Felt like it was a good place to seek vulnerability, peace, redemption, repentance and authenticity.
When I told the pastor who then was trying to walk me through the separation process that I was continuously diving into the Psalms he gave me an incredibly harsh remark. He said: Why dive into the Psalms? You're not seeking to be with God. You're seeking the easy path. Why don't you dive in to Romans, which is full of conviction and the need to restore relationship with God? You just wanna hear good things that make you feel better.
Everything inside of me wants to reveal the name of this particular pastor. Mostly because he preaches at a church with the word "GRACE" written on every wall. I wish I could have responded to his input then but I simply didn't have right words to. My world was crashing, it was largely my fault, I felt I had no where to run, had to resign from my youth director position, was making no money, had a pile of bills, was losing "christian friends" to the debacle, etc. It was definitely a gruesome time. It goes without saying that I handled a lot of that entire situation poorly as well.
If I could give him my two cents today, I would tell that pastor this: You're a fool. David was viciously open about his failures and approached God with a broken heart. It's a clear example of how we should abide in the Lord through all circumstances. It's why he was called a "man after Gods own heart" in the first place. This abusive suggestion for Romans reveals your need to control grace but let me remind you that you aren't God. And let me express my thankfulness that you are not... Because God is a gracious, loving and patient God...
...I guess I'm thinking about all of this at 6:30 in the morning because I'm being reminded of the real power of empathy... And how it coincides with the power of healing. How important these two things are for being in intimate relationship with others... If we don't empathize, how then do we live outside ourselves and how do we help an aching world without understanding where its hurting? If we don't heal, how then are we to understand others without continuously thinking about whats aching in our own hearts?
See I can't judge the pastor. Like me, he's a victim of only thinking from his own perspective without attempting to set aside his own pains to effectively aid another. I guess my heart this morning is seeking healing from pain for improved empathy towards others because when you think about it... empathy is the most precious gift one can offer another human being. Its our willingness to put ourselves DIRECTLY in front of the arrows coming at another person and feeling as they feel. It's a deep, powerful and intimate connection. hah... Come to think of it, it's exactly what Christ did for the beloved on the cross.
Pray this blesses you this morning.
When I was going through my divorce I began to really dive in to the Psalms of David. Definitely was searching for something to ease the soul, despite the circumstances. To be honest, diving into those Psalms at the time was the reason I even started this blog... Felt like it was a good place to seek vulnerability, peace, redemption, repentance and authenticity.
When I told the pastor who then was trying to walk me through the separation process that I was continuously diving into the Psalms he gave me an incredibly harsh remark. He said: Why dive into the Psalms? You're not seeking to be with God. You're seeking the easy path. Why don't you dive in to Romans, which is full of conviction and the need to restore relationship with God? You just wanna hear good things that make you feel better.
Everything inside of me wants to reveal the name of this particular pastor. Mostly because he preaches at a church with the word "GRACE" written on every wall. I wish I could have responded to his input then but I simply didn't have right words to. My world was crashing, it was largely my fault, I felt I had no where to run, had to resign from my youth director position, was making no money, had a pile of bills, was losing "christian friends" to the debacle, etc. It was definitely a gruesome time. It goes without saying that I handled a lot of that entire situation poorly as well.
If I could give him my two cents today, I would tell that pastor this: You're a fool. David was viciously open about his failures and approached God with a broken heart. It's a clear example of how we should abide in the Lord through all circumstances. It's why he was called a "man after Gods own heart" in the first place. This abusive suggestion for Romans reveals your need to control grace but let me remind you that you aren't God. And let me express my thankfulness that you are not... Because God is a gracious, loving and patient God...
...I guess I'm thinking about all of this at 6:30 in the morning because I'm being reminded of the real power of empathy... And how it coincides with the power of healing. How important these two things are for being in intimate relationship with others... If we don't empathize, how then do we live outside ourselves and how do we help an aching world without understanding where its hurting? If we don't heal, how then are we to understand others without continuously thinking about whats aching in our own hearts?
See I can't judge the pastor. Like me, he's a victim of only thinking from his own perspective without attempting to set aside his own pains to effectively aid another. I guess my heart this morning is seeking healing from pain for improved empathy towards others because when you think about it... empathy is the most precious gift one can offer another human being. Its our willingness to put ourselves DIRECTLY in front of the arrows coming at another person and feeling as they feel. It's a deep, powerful and intimate connection. hah... Come to think of it, it's exactly what Christ did for the beloved on the cross.
Pray this blesses you this morning.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Crisis.
(This all ties so please read to the end. It's worth your time.)
During one of my mental health training videos it described the word crisis as when a person experiences stressors in which they are ill-equipped to deal with their situation and go beyond their learned coping skills. In this state is when a persons truest, and most undifferentiated, nature comes out. For some this behavior includes verbal hostility, like name calling or yelling, but for others this behavior includes physical hostility, like slamming doors or punching stuff/people.
A lot of times crisis can lead to cathartic (or alleviating) experiences, if only the person proves capable of learning the proper coping skills needed to avoid being overwhelmed by similar future stressors, but most of the time people are so unwilling to change they live their lives in a vicious cycle of being poorly differentiated people lacking the simplest coping skills needed to resolve their stressors.
Basically coping skills are like a "tool belt". Look up good mental health coping skills (and bad ones) if you want more info on that... also look up what differentiation means. Simply put, good coping skills can keep you from going into crisis... or "flipping out". Think about the last time you felt uncomfortable or offended in a social setting and all of a sudden your ability to reason, to love others, to be nice and smile and to be in an appropriate state of mind went out the window. Most of the time when this happens you end up lashing out and remorseful, saying something like, "I don't know what got in to me. I don't know why I lashed out."... Well its simple, you were a lowly differentiated person who lacked the skills to cope amidst your insecurities.
When we are mocked or our pride is challenged or our ability to be successful is questioned... all of these things, and others, target our insecurities and make us suspect to crisis. If properly differentiated and with a good "tool belt", a person will respond knowing that nothing can retract from their own value as an individual. If not properly differentiated and with an underdeveloped "tool belt"... you're looking at crisis.
As a christian my personal biggest coping skill is the ability to rely on a sovereign God who is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. I also like to exercise, eat well, read, hang with people and watch funny movies... but the love given by a Savior fuels the meaning of all those other things.
However, I'm still suspect to crisis. Most of the time this happens to me when I feel overwhelmingly rejected or even reminded of how I've been rejected. Rejections like thinking about how my biological family won't talk to me anymore or how I've been blocked/excommunicated by Christian communities I grew roots in... or even how our "American church" views me after being divorced. Rejection isn't the only thing that triggers crisis for me either. The feeling of not having control does too. Like not being able to control one of my family members diagnosis of Paranoia disorder.. or not being able to control how I continuously sin against my Savior (which if you're a believer you know isn't even ABOUT control but releasing it).
I'm still in my own process of becoming more differentiated and learning good coping skills so that I don't continually fall into crisis and run to bad coping skills but it's a hard battle. With a lot of pain. I thank my Savior for including me in the beloved though.. I really do. After reading all of this I want you to ask yourself, What do I run to to ease the pain I carry? What sends me into crisis and what coping skills do I use? Are they healthy ones or detrimental ones? Evaluate yourself... Because by doing so you may be freeing yourself of a vicious cycle. And if you can't find much wrong with yourself after an evaluation then pick up a book on excuses and blaming others because your battle with self realization has barely begun.
I apologize if this reads jumpy. Maybe I'm in crisis :).
God is so good to us... and He has been good to me.
During one of my mental health training videos it described the word crisis as when a person experiences stressors in which they are ill-equipped to deal with their situation and go beyond their learned coping skills. In this state is when a persons truest, and most undifferentiated, nature comes out. For some this behavior includes verbal hostility, like name calling or yelling, but for others this behavior includes physical hostility, like slamming doors or punching stuff/people.
A lot of times crisis can lead to cathartic (or alleviating) experiences, if only the person proves capable of learning the proper coping skills needed to avoid being overwhelmed by similar future stressors, but most of the time people are so unwilling to change they live their lives in a vicious cycle of being poorly differentiated people lacking the simplest coping skills needed to resolve their stressors.
Basically coping skills are like a "tool belt". Look up good mental health coping skills (and bad ones) if you want more info on that... also look up what differentiation means. Simply put, good coping skills can keep you from going into crisis... or "flipping out". Think about the last time you felt uncomfortable or offended in a social setting and all of a sudden your ability to reason, to love others, to be nice and smile and to be in an appropriate state of mind went out the window. Most of the time when this happens you end up lashing out and remorseful, saying something like, "I don't know what got in to me. I don't know why I lashed out."... Well its simple, you were a lowly differentiated person who lacked the skills to cope amidst your insecurities.
When we are mocked or our pride is challenged or our ability to be successful is questioned... all of these things, and others, target our insecurities and make us suspect to crisis. If properly differentiated and with a good "tool belt", a person will respond knowing that nothing can retract from their own value as an individual. If not properly differentiated and with an underdeveloped "tool belt"... you're looking at crisis.
As a christian my personal biggest coping skill is the ability to rely on a sovereign God who is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. I also like to exercise, eat well, read, hang with people and watch funny movies... but the love given by a Savior fuels the meaning of all those other things.
However, I'm still suspect to crisis. Most of the time this happens to me when I feel overwhelmingly rejected or even reminded of how I've been rejected. Rejections like thinking about how my biological family won't talk to me anymore or how I've been blocked/excommunicated by Christian communities I grew roots in... or even how our "American church" views me after being divorced. Rejection isn't the only thing that triggers crisis for me either. The feeling of not having control does too. Like not being able to control one of my family members diagnosis of Paranoia disorder.. or not being able to control how I continuously sin against my Savior (which if you're a believer you know isn't even ABOUT control but releasing it).
I'm still in my own process of becoming more differentiated and learning good coping skills so that I don't continually fall into crisis and run to bad coping skills but it's a hard battle. With a lot of pain. I thank my Savior for including me in the beloved though.. I really do. After reading all of this I want you to ask yourself, What do I run to to ease the pain I carry? What sends me into crisis and what coping skills do I use? Are they healthy ones or detrimental ones? Evaluate yourself... Because by doing so you may be freeing yourself of a vicious cycle. And if you can't find much wrong with yourself after an evaluation then pick up a book on excuses and blaming others because your battle with self realization has barely begun.
I apologize if this reads jumpy. Maybe I'm in crisis :).
God is so good to us... and He has been good to me.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Struggle.
When I created this blog I wanted to call it, "Depraved but Redeemed."
I changed it, however, because my soon to be x-wife told me that "but" made it sound more permissive towards the former term and "yet" made it sound more aggressive towards the latter term.
...She was right.
I am a sinner but I love Jesus. I am a sinner yet I love Jesus.
Often I find myself stuck between those two... Do you? At times feel cheap towards the grace provided by Christ and at other times see it costly (Bonhoeffer terms). It's a difficult struggle. It's one that requires a level of humility thats empowered by God alone (James 4:6). My challenge is this:
Read Psalms 7:3-5 and James 4:6. CLING to the "yet" term and not the "but" term.
God is good.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Woe.
"Woe is me. For I am lost. For I am a man of unclean lips. And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips."
FYI.. The word "Woe", is a desperate Hebrew cry of emotional distress. So anytime you see this... Know its the equivalent of sending a text message like: @!$%&())#$()#)@)@(#(! This particular verse comes out of Isaiah 6. Basically what happens that leads to Isaiah saying this is this: Isaiah is a proud man from a proud culture that knows nothing but a comfortable, wealthy lifestyle. All of a sudden, he has an encounter with God. And its big (Check how many times Isaiah 6 says words like "filled", "full", "all", etc.). Isaiah, seeing now what LEGIT looks like, falls and sees how crappy he is. Then sees how crappy the people around him are as well. This all is a shock, considering he probably thought he was doing pretty good... I mean, most rich cultures think this-- Like ours (burn). Isaiah was broken. Isaiah was Unmade.
This story is the same as Luke 14. Where the rich are "invited" to a King-like banquet by a powerful man and the invited make excuses not to come. In their culture, this was a MAJOR burn. What did the man do? He "compelled" the sick, lame and poor to come. He compelled them... NOT invited, but compelled. (See Luke 14:24). He wanted the broken. He wanted the unmade.
Now look at David's cry to God after he had adulterous sex with Bathsheba and offed her husband in Psalms 51. Basically? David begged a perfect God for mercy for what he did. NOT grace but mercy (See Psalms 51:1). David begged God to purify him like the Seraph did for Isaiah with the burning coal. David begged out of being broken. David begged out of being unmade.
All that said... We live in a culture of comfortability. Of wealth. Of insurances. Of 401k's. Of Entertainment. Of riches. And of binge eating feasts at Chili's after we go and "celebrate Jesus" on Sunday mornings. Quick question: Where did the WOE go? We basically traded in our "Woe" for "Woah". David, Isaiah, Jesus with his parable... they all relay the following: We are 1, too full of other crap to see God like Isaiah.. 2, We are too full of excuses and self to feast with God on Sundays.. and 3, too stinking proud and misguided by our lives to EVER be broken like David A.K.A. "The man after God's own heart". Look at these real quick:
The last shall be first, and the first last. - Matthew 20:16
Anyone who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:33
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. - James 4:6
What are you gathering by reading this blog? I'll tell you one thing I'm gathering. He wants the broken, the sinful, the prostitutes, the druggies, the hateful and the jacked up people with self realization to be at his banquet. And the invited? Like the blind-to-self Pharisees, the self-righteous preacher, the insurance laced worrier (Matt 6:27), the comfortable sunday worker, the binge eatin' entertainment junkies, the socializing church goer and the spiritually complacent communities... Wont.
I'm willing to give all. But hell.. I got NOTHING to even give, hah! I'm the worst sinner among us. I've lost almost anything worth losing in this past year and all by my own doing. In fact, I beat myself senseless with guilt every damn day. I struggle with putting mercy, let alone grace, into perspective as something I can have. I've been run out of churches, left by friends, slandered, gossiped about, etc. Yet somehow... I now fit the description of the people Christ compels to be at his banquet now? unreal. SEE Luke 14:21-24 if you have ISSUES with what I've said. And correct me in my lack of truth if present. Let Him reveal to me all error in this blog and break me more if there's still personal error to be realized (Psalms 7:3-5).
God IS good. Are you the broken and unmade failure he wants to work through though?
FYI.. The word "Woe", is a desperate Hebrew cry of emotional distress. So anytime you see this... Know its the equivalent of sending a text message like: @!$%&())#$()#)@)@(#(! This particular verse comes out of Isaiah 6. Basically what happens that leads to Isaiah saying this is this: Isaiah is a proud man from a proud culture that knows nothing but a comfortable, wealthy lifestyle. All of a sudden, he has an encounter with God. And its big (Check how many times Isaiah 6 says words like "filled", "full", "all", etc.). Isaiah, seeing now what LEGIT looks like, falls and sees how crappy he is. Then sees how crappy the people around him are as well. This all is a shock, considering he probably thought he was doing pretty good... I mean, most rich cultures think this-- Like ours (burn). Isaiah was broken. Isaiah was Unmade.
This story is the same as Luke 14. Where the rich are "invited" to a King-like banquet by a powerful man and the invited make excuses not to come. In their culture, this was a MAJOR burn. What did the man do? He "compelled" the sick, lame and poor to come. He compelled them... NOT invited, but compelled. (See Luke 14:24). He wanted the broken. He wanted the unmade.
Now look at David's cry to God after he had adulterous sex with Bathsheba and offed her husband in Psalms 51. Basically? David begged a perfect God for mercy for what he did. NOT grace but mercy (See Psalms 51:1). David begged God to purify him like the Seraph did for Isaiah with the burning coal. David begged out of being broken. David begged out of being unmade.
All that said... We live in a culture of comfortability. Of wealth. Of insurances. Of 401k's. Of Entertainment. Of riches. And of binge eating feasts at Chili's after we go and "celebrate Jesus" on Sunday mornings. Quick question: Where did the WOE go? We basically traded in our "Woe" for "Woah". David, Isaiah, Jesus with his parable... they all relay the following: We are 1, too full of other crap to see God like Isaiah.. 2, We are too full of excuses and self to feast with God on Sundays.. and 3, too stinking proud and misguided by our lives to EVER be broken like David A.K.A. "The man after God's own heart". Look at these real quick:
The last shall be first, and the first last. - Matthew 20:16
Anyone who does not renounce all that he has cannot be my disciple. - Luke 14:33
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. - James 4:6
What are you gathering by reading this blog? I'll tell you one thing I'm gathering. He wants the broken, the sinful, the prostitutes, the druggies, the hateful and the jacked up people with self realization to be at his banquet. And the invited? Like the blind-to-self Pharisees, the self-righteous preacher, the insurance laced worrier (Matt 6:27), the comfortable sunday worker, the binge eatin' entertainment junkies, the socializing church goer and the spiritually complacent communities... Wont.
I'm willing to give all. But hell.. I got NOTHING to even give, hah! I'm the worst sinner among us. I've lost almost anything worth losing in this past year and all by my own doing. In fact, I beat myself senseless with guilt every damn day. I struggle with putting mercy, let alone grace, into perspective as something I can have. I've been run out of churches, left by friends, slandered, gossiped about, etc. Yet somehow... I now fit the description of the people Christ compels to be at his banquet now? unreal. SEE Luke 14:21-24 if you have ISSUES with what I've said. And correct me in my lack of truth if present. Let Him reveal to me all error in this blog and break me more if there's still personal error to be realized (Psalms 7:3-5).
God IS good. Are you the broken and unmade failure he wants to work through though?
Friday, March 30, 2012
Light.
This Monday, I will start my new job. In it I see hope. In it I can take pride in the man God is forming me to be. In it I find the strength to let go of the things that have haunted me. In it I find the light that comes from only one source. This Monday, I will be a Mental Health Paraprofessional at the Ozark Guidance Center.
Ain't he good?
I have fought Him. I have mocked Him. I have disobeyed Him. I have ran from Him. I have cursed, accused, spat and tortured His people...Yet He calls me child. At the foot of the cross I have recently found the grace and peace needed to fuel the rest of this restoration process. At the foot of the cross I have dug into His Spirit and found joy... and have made it my own. Even BEFORE I was interviewing for the MHPP position, I was fasting and saying to myself, Erick... If you don't get this job...
God is STILL good.
I have held my tongue from the evil in my heart and have gotten violent against the sinfulness of my heart. I am a member of the beloved... I will seek to rejoice as such, despite the visibility of my blessings. Isn't that what 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says anyway? (Yeah... google it). God's imparted righteousness is purifying me like the coals did for Isaiah and in that I'm finding the comfort that only He can provide. Come on. Say it out loud :)
God is good.
Ain't he good?
I have fought Him. I have mocked Him. I have disobeyed Him. I have ran from Him. I have cursed, accused, spat and tortured His people...Yet He calls me child. At the foot of the cross I have recently found the grace and peace needed to fuel the rest of this restoration process. At the foot of the cross I have dug into His Spirit and found joy... and have made it my own. Even BEFORE I was interviewing for the MHPP position, I was fasting and saying to myself, Erick... If you don't get this job...
God is STILL good.
I have held my tongue from the evil in my heart and have gotten violent against the sinfulness of my heart. I am a member of the beloved... I will seek to rejoice as such, despite the visibility of my blessings. Isn't that what 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says anyway? (Yeah... google it). God's imparted righteousness is purifying me like the coals did for Isaiah and in that I'm finding the comfort that only He can provide. Come on. Say it out loud :)
God is good.
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